Sunday, August 25, 2013

i'm back~

I stood still, letting the wind gently blow my scarf. The liberation it gives. I just love the feeling. Unconsumed by worries, with no scars to erase, no tears to wipe, just a contented smile to face this life. The breeze gave me all the good feelings I need. I then walked slowly along the lake, when a young couple –newlyweds I assume- caught my attention. How the young man caressed the cheeks of his other half and her, finding solace in his deep blue eyes. They both radiated with only smiles, no words uttered, just eyes locked on each other.
How much I adore you, how lucky I am to have you beside me, what would happen to me if someday you leave. Forgive me for I am not half as perfect as you are- as though their eyes were telling all these words. I felt it too, as they live at the back of my mind. As a memory. It is moments like this which drive me back home; the precious moments of us together while watching our kids grow before our eyes.
Slowly I inhaled the freshness of the air. Reminding me of something my other half once said about breathing our problems away. Many times I would think of it as absurd. How does something as that becomes a cure-all? He’d only smile to this doubt of mine, “You know what, just think about it. It does seem nothing to you. But think about the rush of oxygen into our lungs by the deep breaths we take. How our inner cells get wrapped by these complex processes just to keep us.. well, simply breathing. My love, can’t you see how He has created us so beautifully, how His majestic kindness has allowed us to function well? If you think of this as something insignificant, then think of how even as small as it seems, it is still well taken care of by Him. Let alone the big things that overwhelm us..” He continued his analogy without realizing I was slowly drifting away just thinking of it, with eyes closed.
It didn’t take me long to realize another thing worthy of my attention. It was an old man on his wheelchair, with his wife right next to him peeling off an apple. The wife kept talking, maybe recalling all their old memories, amusing the husband, whom hid all the pain he’s bearing behind his smile. Only a word to describe this: loyalty. I don’t know what else would unfold if they are to share everything of their lives together. I could only see a loyal wife with love filling her eyes, accompanying her husband through a difficult time, loving her husband for everything he is. Oh Allah, may they grow old together and if possible, for eternity. Something I wish for myself as well.
I kept walking while looking at the ground I was stepping on. To see how the grasses just stay alive and fresh despite being stepped on just reminded me of how life goes on. Sometimes I fall, to the point of barely breathing. I would feel the storm, like everything is coming to an end. I would cry all the tears, without realizing there is rainbow waiting at the end of every rain.
Suddenly, I just snap back into reality, to a voice, “Mommy why were you smiling at the grass?”. It is my boy pulling my hands just eager to feed his curiosity. I turn around, and I see my soul and life walking towards us, holding our 3 year old daughter. His smile. It is that, which fuels every of my strength.


“Waniii, mama panggilll !!! “
Gosh, bertebaran semua imaginasi. Halilintar punya suara kakak, xdan nak berangan habis. Kalau x mesti dah sampai part saya naik pentas grad utk phd, pastu kami satu family balik m'sia, and bla bla.....
There is nothing wrong with imagination. You imagine your own future, then you create it with your own strength, biiznillah it will becomes reality. Kita masing2 ada dream, nak berjaya dalam kerjaya, rumah tangga, bahagia dan Allah redha dengan cara kita.

About a year tuan blog menghilang, entah la ke mana mencari ilham, tup2 muncul dengan kisah dongeng macam ni..hehe
Btw, tiba2 rasa nk buat narrative story macam tu, nak menceburi bidang novel romantika mungkin. Joking=)
Semua ni gara2 banyak sangat news feed kat fb gmbaq kawan2 walimah..barakallahulakum, forever till jannah insyaAllah. What did I wrote above is not just my dream, tapi mungkin juga sahabat2 yang lain. Semua impikan hati yang tenang dan bahagia dengan keluarga masing2, bina karier bersama2, susah sihat ada yang menemani, and grow older together insyaAllah. Doa saya bersama kalian=)

*finally i decided to write again, after a year, or more.. sekarang tengah gear 1, harapnya x kan bertukar ke gear reverse=)
*hopefully all my writing will give benefit to others..kalau x banyak, 2 3 patah perkataan pun xpa dah. Pelaburan utk akhirat insyaAllah.
*lama sangat dh x menulis, so skill dan idea tersangat la berkarat..forgive me, for any wrong facts and unclear explainations, or maybe harsh words, atau merapu naik tahap dewa.

*tenkiu pada yang masih setia membaca blog berlumut ni, walaupun dh lama x hapdet T_T..  i owe u a lot.. feeling meh~

*sekian saja..salam syawal dari saya^^

orang kedah pun syok dok tengah sawah padi~

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